What Broke Today

🟢 LINEAR Sep 27, 2026

🟡 Linear's European infrastructure decided to ghost its entire region. The app is fully down while engineers perform archaeological digs through the logs. Thoughts and prayers to anyone's sprint planning today. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Aug 13, 2026

🟡 Linear's Codex stopped accepting new sessions because OpenAI's infrastructure decided to take an unscheduled sabbatical. Apparently 'investigating' is tech-speak for 'we're reading the error logs for the first time.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Jul 16, 2026

🟡 Linear decided to explore the concept of 'eventual consistency' by making some US customers wait indefinitely. The app's now in that special state between 'working' and 'performance art installation.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Jun 30, 2026

🟡 Linear's having an existential crisis about regional routing—some India users can't load the app while EU infrastructure takes a nap. Integrations and API equally uncooperative. Engineering team is investigating what appears to be a coordinated refusal to work. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Jun 22, 2026

🟡 Linear is having a staring contest with your data and winning. US customers getting the spinning wheel of contemplation while engineers forensically examine what went wrong. Update promised by 17:45 UTC, which in status-page time means 'we're still Googling'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Jun 17, 2026

🟠 Linear decided to test how slowly it could move tasks around. After a rollback that'll definitely haunt someone's commit history, performance is limping back to normal. Integrations are also getting their act together. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Jun 09, 2026

🟠 Linear's having an identity crisis across both regions—web, desktop, API, integrations all decided to move at geological timescales. Engineers are 'investigating,' which in incident-speak means refreshing Slack every 3 seconds while stress-eating. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Jun 03, 2026

🟠 Linear Agent's code intelligence tools went full Inception—trying to run code analysis but the upstream provider decided to take a unscheduled nap. Both US and EU regions are experiencing the cascading joy of depending on third-party infrastructure that apparently skipped the redundancy memo. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR May 28, 2026

🔴 Linear went full ghost mode across US and EU—app won't load, users staring at network errors like they're debugging someone else's nightmare. Engineering team frantically googling 'how to make software exist again.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR May 28, 2026

🔴 Linear's email-to-asks pipeline decided emails are overrated. EU and US regions now treat incoming mail like spam folders—bouncing everything with the enthusiasm of a toddler rejecting vegetables. Asks? What asks? They're investigating why their intake system forgot how to intake. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR May 25, 2026

⚪ Linear's background jobs in EU took an unplanned nap from 12:45-13:05 UTC after the autoscaler decided less capacity = more vibes. Apparently nobody told the infrastructure that 'downsizing' doesn't work the same way in tech as it does in HR. All fixed now, assuming it doesn't get ideas again. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR May 22, 2026

🟠 LINEAR - Resolved: Degraded search quality for some US workspaces. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR May 14, 2026

🟠 Linear's love affair with Slack hit a rough patch thanks to some upstream provider deciding to self-destruct. Asks, agents, and workflows are now moving at geological timescales across both US and EU. They're 'monitoring' which is corporate for 'frantically checking logs.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR May 14, 2026

🟠 Linear and Slack are having commitment issues—upstream provider pulled the plug, leaving your automation hanging. Both US and EU regions suffering from what engineers are politely calling 'degraded performance,' which is corporate speak for 'we're watching it fail in real time.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Apr 20, 2026

🟡 Linear Agent and SLAs are running slower than a project manager reading requirements. US Region's having a moment where 'fast' became a theoretical concept. Engineering team frantically checking if someone accidentally set everything to milliseconds-per-geological-era. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Mar 24, 2026

🔴 LINEAR - Missing inbox notifications. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Mar 23, 2026

🔴 LINEAR - Linear not loading for some customers in Spain. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Mar 09, 2026

🟠 Linear's workspace creation feature decided to ghost users in the US. The team is now frantically reverse-engineering why their own product won't let people, you know, create workspaces. Turns out even issue trackers need therapy sometimes. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Mar 02, 2026

🟠 Linear's bug put agent apps in timeout jail—Cursor, Copilot, and Codex all got mysteriously banned. Fix is rolling out now, which is great news for the robots you've trained to write your code for you. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 LINEAR Jan 19, 2026

⚪ resolved - Linear's issue creation went missing for an hour Saturday thanks to some internal maintenance process that apparently skipped quality control. Turns out even the tool for tracking problems can't track its own problems. At least they added guard rails so this particular comedy show won't get a sequel. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

> cat /var/log/failures.log