> cat /var/log/failures.log

A comprehensive record of when things went wrong.

All the chaos openai (63) snyk (58) webflow (57) grafana (47) fly (38) fivetran (37) supabase (32) hashicorp (26) github (26) anthropic (26) aws (25) linear (20) jira (17) elastic (17) lovable (16)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Sep 29, 2026
🔴 Claude forgot who everyone is. SSO and Apple Sign-In are MIA, new chats won't start, voice is silent, and Claude Code/Cowork are taking an unscheduled vacation. First wave got patched at 14:36 UTC, second wave decided to ruin everyone's day. Pro tip: don't log out or you're locked out forever. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Aug 14, 2026
🟡 Anthropic's Code on the Web decided to move at sloth speed, taking Cowork, Routines, and mobile along for the ride. Engineers are now in that special 'investigating' phase where coffee becomes a food group. Performance degradation across the board—turns out shipping features faster than they can handle them has consequences. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Jul 14, 2026
🟡 Anthropic's investigating why Claude suddenly forgot how to build containers. Document creation, Cowork Remote, and Claude Code Remote are all experiencing existential crises. Your AI's having an identity crisis—turns out even genius needs a working dev environment. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Jun 18, 2026
🔴 Anthropic's flagship AI decided to ghost its users while engineers play detective with the source code. 'We identified the problem' is corporate for 'we found where it broke, now comes the fun part.' ETA on consciousness restoration: TBD. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC May 09, 2026
🟡 Anthropic's web-based Claude Code decided to ghost half its users at 11:33 PM UTC. Engineers are frantically checking if it's a feature or a bug—spoiler alert, it's always a bug. The investigation is ongoing, which is corporate speak for 'we have no idea yet.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Apr 30, 2026
🟡 Anthropic's claude.ai and API decided to ghost everyone simultaneously. Engineering team is playing detective while your prompts contemplate the void. Nothing says 'artificial intelligence' like becoming artificially unavailable. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Apr 28, 2026
🔴 Anthropic's API decided errors are a lifestyle choice while Claude.ai took an unscheduled vacation. Engineers are speedrunning the debugging process with elevated stress levels to match. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Apr 28, 2026
🟡 Anthropic's crown jewel Claude.ai decided to pull a Houdini act. Users refreshing like desperate slot machine addicts. Engineers are 'investigating' which is tech-speak for 'we have no idea yet.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Apr 23, 2026
🔴 MCP applications vanished from Claude.ai like they never existed—desktop, mobile, everything. Anthropic's engineers are currently playing archaeological dig through their own infrastructure. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Apr 16, 2026
⚪ Claude's big brain model decided to temporarily forget everything it learned. Outage lasted 83 minutes while engineers performed digital CPR. Crisis averted, your hallucinations are back on schedule. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Apr 15, 2026
🔴 Anthropic's flagship AI decided to take a mental health day—Claude.ai, API, and Code all reporting elevated errors. API's back online, but Claude.ai remains in bed and Claude Code's login is ghosting everyone. Apparently 'elevated errors' is corporate for 'we broke it.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Apr 13, 2026
🟡 Anthropic's Claude.ai is down and they're "investigating" - which is corporate speak for "we're frantically checking logs and pretending we know what happened." Your AI best friend decided to ghost you right when you needed it most. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Apr 11, 2026
⚪ Your email login took an unscheduled nap from 3:46-4:52 PM PDT. Anthropic's authentication had a brief existential crisis but remembered its job eventually. Crisis averted, dignity questionable. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Apr 08, 2026
🟡 Anthropic's workspace creation feature decided to ghost users at the console and admin API—classic move when you want to feel exclusive. Everything else still works, so at least your existing projects won't spontaneously combust. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Mar 31, 2026
🟠 Some Claude.ai desktop connectors decided to file for divorce without notice. Anthropic's working on convincing them to come back, promises a custody update soon. Your extensions are in the void—very cutting edge, very temporary. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Mar 22, 2026
🔴 ANTHROPIC - Claude.ai and Claude login down. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Mar 22, 2026
🔴 ANTHROPIC - Claude Console login down. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Mar 18, 2026
🔴 ANTHROPIC - Elevated errors on Claude.ai. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Mar 08, 2026
🟠 Claude Desktop got stuck in an infinite loop trying to find tasks that technically never existed thanks to DST shenanigans. The app decided 1:30 AM doesn't exist, so it looked for it forever. Update to 1.1.5749 and pretend this never happened. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Mar 03, 2026
🟠 Admin API had a brief existential crisis, got patched, but usage reporting decided to stay broken. The console is now a beautiful lie about how much you've actually spent. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Mar 03, 2026
🟡 Anthropic's admin API decided to ghost the Console, along with some reporting screens. The team is now playing detective while your dashboards stare blankly into the void. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Feb 26, 2026
🟠 Anthropic's Console and admin API usage reports decided to ghost everyone on what they're actually spending. Turns out the company that reads your prompts can't read its own receipts. Team's "working on a fix" which is corporate for "we'll tell you when we figure out what happened.". (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Feb 25, 2026
🟠 Claude's desktop app decided to ghost users for a hot minute. Turns out v1.1.4328 was the kiss of life it needed. Update or reinstall if your AI bestie stopped accepting visitors. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Feb 25, 2026
🟢 Windows users discovered their Claude Desktop had ghosted them harder than a bad first date. Anthropic deployed the breakup-recovery patch v1.1.4328 in record time—turns out chaos is a great motivator. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Feb 04, 2026
⚪ Claude briefly forgot how to be Claude between 16:20-16:55 UTC. Engineers found the issue, applied the digital equivalent of smelling salts, and everything's back to pretending it never happened. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Jan 29, 2026
⚪ Claude's payment processor had an existential crisis—couldn't process credits, balance updates, or shutoffs. Basically became a vendor of IOUs. Now fixed, so your wallet can resume its regular programming of pain. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)