> cat /var/log/failures.log
A comprehensive record of when things went wrong.
🟢 AWS
Aug 18, 2026
⚪ AWS Direct Connect got surprise baptism at Equinix Frankfurt when water decided cooling systems weren't its only calling. Network gear drowned faster than a MacBook in a bathtub, took out packet delivery service for several hours. Plot twist: the real disaster was the infrastructure, not the cloud. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 AWS
Aug 16, 2026
🔴 AWS's Frankfurt facility discovered that packets, like tourists, sometimes prefer getting lost. Co-location partner and AWS are having a spirited disagreement about how 'near term' recovery actually works. Spoiler: it's not. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 AWS
Jul 31, 2026
⚪ AWS's route-assignment system forgot how to assign routes, turning AP-SOUTH-1 into a packet massacre zone. Someone's config change turned into someone else's 2 AM incident call. Fixed now, but the damage to your SLA is already in the group chat. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 AWS
Jul 24, 2026
⚪ 🔌 AWS US-WEST-2 ghosted everyone for 20 minutes between 3:55-4:15 AM PDT, tanking connectivity across multiple services and the Management Console. Engineers showed up fashionably late at 4:01 AM, found the problem, and fixed it before anyone could file a ticket. The region's internal plumbing stayed dry though, so there's that. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
⚪ AWS
Jul 18, 2026
⚪ Your AWS costs looked like they took a steroids cycle, but relax—the actual invoice won't bankrupt you. Estimated billing data hallucinated numbers between July 16-17 while alarms watched like useless security cameras. The good news: only your heart rate was affected, not your credit card.
🟢 AWS
Jul 16, 2026
⚪ Update: Service is operating normally: [RESOLVED] Increased 5xx Errors
🟢 AWS
Jul 16, 2026
🔴 CloudFront is experiencing a routing capacity crisis in its packet processing subsystem—turns out AWS's packet processing infrastructure is just like your closet: it works fine until you try to fit one more thing in. VPC Origins customers are getting a symphony of 5xx errors while AWS engineers test a mitigation strategy that hopefully doesn't involve unplugging and plugging back in again.
⚪ AWS
Jul 16, 2026
🟠 Single availability zone in Frankfurt decided connectivity was optional between 2:56–6:07 PM PDT. EC2 instances ghosted their networks, new launches got participation trophies instead of IP addresses, and several AWS APIs went along for the ride. Technically 'resolved' now, but that's what they always say right before the sequel.
⚪ AWS
Jul 06, 2026
⚪ 🎭 AWS's Launch Template API decided to take an unscheduled sabbatical between 2:56-6:54 AM PDT, turning template creation into a coin flip. Running instances shrugged and kept chugging, but anyone trying to spawn new resources got the silent treatment. Even services downstream realized their templates weren't coming home for dinner.
⚪ AWS
Jun 30, 2026
⚪ EC2 APIs in EU-North-1 decided to take a 43-minute siesta between 1:42-2:25 PM PDT, rejecting new instance launches with the classic 'Internal Server Error' move. Existing instances watched from the sidelines unharmed. The irony of a service designed for infinite scaling hitting the pause button is not lost on us.
🟢 AWS
Jun 15, 2026
⚪ Fable 5 and Mythos 5 went full ghost mode across all regions. Anthropic claims it's 'resolving' this, which is corporate speak for 'we'll tell you something eventually.' Turns out releasing new AI models requires actually letting people use them. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 AWS
May 23, 2026
⚪ AWS Route53 spent 46 minutes throwing 500s at its own APIs like a toddler rejecting vegetables. The management console also went full amnesia. Root cause: identified and promptly buried in an AWS blog post nobody will read. DNS actually kept working though, so points for not completely catastrophizing. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 AWS
May 09, 2026
⚪ Update: Service is operating normally: [RESOLVED] Increased Error Rate and Latency
🟢 AWS
May 08, 2026
🔴 EC2 instances in use1-az4 decided to self-immolate after hitting thermal limits. AWS is playing server firefighter while customers watch their infrastructure turn into a convection oven. EBS volumes are also having a heat-induced existential crisis.
🟢 AWS
Apr 30, 2026
🔴 ME-SOUTH-1 is offline indefinitely due to geopolitical realities AWS can't AWS-away from. Billing's frozen, your data's homeless, and recovery involves actual geography lessons. Guess the cloud isn't as borderless as the marketing said. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
⚪ AWS
Apr 27, 2026
🟡 AWS's euw3-az2 decided to play dead for 42 minutes—EC2 launches failed, instances ghosted their users, EBS volumes went full Houdini. Root cause: something got lost in translation, literally. All better now, probably.
⚪ AWS
Mar 07, 2026
⚪ AWS S3 in EU-CENTRAL-2 spent nearly an hour literally unable to PUT or GET its act together. Turns out the bytes weren't having it. Someone unplugged the reassembly line, plugged it back in, problem solved. Apparently AWS stores data like IKEA furniture—occasionally needs angry intervention.
🟢 AWS
Mar 03, 2026
🔴 Drone strikes turned two UAE data centers into modern art installations and gave Bahrain's infrastructure a proximity haircut. AWS Middle East is discovering that 'act of God' clauses don't cover 'act of war.' Connectivity is what you might call 'collateral damage.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 AWS
Mar 01, 2026
🔴 Apparently someone threw objects at the data center hard enough to create sparks and fire in ME-CENTRAL-1. Fire department cut power and generators, AWS is now playing the waiting game for clearance to restore service. Your resilient multi-AZ architecture just became a single-AZ situation. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 AWS
Mar 01, 2026
🔴 Single availability zone in ME-CENTRAL-1 went dark thanks to a power hiccup. EC2, RDS, EBS all playing dead while AWS frantically reroutes traffic like a concert evacuation. Their solution: 'try the other AZ,' very helpful. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 AWS
Feb 25, 2026
⚪ AWS spent 5 hours forgetting to tell you about your instances. The servers worked fine—just couldn't prove it existed. Turns out monitoring your infrastructure requires, uh, actually monitoring it. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
⚪ AWS
Feb 21, 2026
🔴 AWS Direct Connect ghosted US-EAST-1 customers for 6 hours straight. A routine deployment decided to weaponize a subsystem, turning a minor hiccup into a full regional meltdown by afternoon. Engineers showed up fashionably late to the party.
🟢 AWS
Feb 11, 2026
⚪ 🔧 AWS's edge locations forgot how to resolve domains, returning NXDOMAIN errors like a disgruntled librarian refusing to check the card catalog. The fix? Nuking the affected DNS servers from orbit. Propagation delays dragged on until evening, because why resolve things quickly when you can resolve them *dramatically*?. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 AWS
Feb 07, 2026
⚪ Two availability zones in São Paulo decided to play silent treatment with each other, tanking API reliability until AWS remembered basic networking. The reconciliation took 33 minutes. Everyone's fine now, probably. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
⚪ AWS
Jan 28, 2026
🟢 AWS's network config update system decided to move at geological time scales, leaving new instances playing hide-and-seek with their public IPs. The good news: they found them eventually. The bad news: it took nearly 4 hours. 🐌