> cat /var/log/failures.log

A comprehensive record of when things went wrong.

All the chaos openai (63) webflow (57) snyk (57) grafana (47) fly (38) fivetran (37) supabase (32) hashicorp (26) github (26) anthropic (26) aws (25) linear (20) jira (17) elastic (17) lovable (16)
🟢 GITHUB 6d ago
🟠 GitHub decided to ghost developers twice in one day—Git ops, Issues, Actions, and PRs all took an unscheduled siesta from 16:52-17:01 UTC. Systems are back online, but the incident playlist is starting to feel like a broken record. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Aug 17, 2026
🔴 GitHub decided to play roulette with your API calls—20% of them lose. Archive downloads? Those are running at 50% failure, which is basically a coin flip. Root cause still a mystery, like finding a specific commit in a monorepo at 2am. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Aug 12, 2026
🟡 GitHub's decided logins and asset downloads need a 'thinking break.' Engineers are currently in that special Slack-based panic state they call 'investigating.' Classic move: auth systems remember passwords better than uptime. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Aug 12, 2026
🟡 GitHub users reporting degraded logins and package downloads while engineers squint at dashboards pretending this is fine. The 'investigating' status translates to 'we have no idea yet but coffee is being consumed.' At least they're honest about not knowing what broke. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Jul 20, 2026
🔴 GitHub Actions workflow runners went offline July 20th and knocked over a domino trail of other services. Engineers are thrashing on mitigation while the incident spawns sibling incidents like a tech family drama episode. Your CI/CD pipeline is now a CI/CD pipe dream. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Jul 17, 2026
⚪ GitHub's infrastructure decided one region's API servers weren't healthy enough for duty, so it yeeted 39-44% of requests into the 500-error void. A configuration oopsie turned healthy backends into pariahs. They fixed it by remembering how health checks actually work. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Jun 08, 2026
🟠 GitHub decided unauthenticated users don't deserve to see pull requests or issues—peak gatekeeper energy. Investigation ongoing, which is corporate-speak for 'our on-call engineer just woke up.' At least the sign-in button still works, so there's that. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Jun 05, 2026
🟠 GitHub decided 1-2% of API requests weren't worth authenticating between 14:49-16:45 UTC. Your Slack/Teams integrations got ghosted. Endpoints played 'who are you?' with legitimate users, serving 4xx errors like denial of service with a smile. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB May 28, 2026
⚪ GitHub decided OpenAI models needed a mental health day, so they ghosted users for a few hours. Engineers frantically rerouted traffic to the B-team models while pretending everything was fine. Crisis averted, dignity not included. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB May 28, 2026
🟠 Someone deployed a half-baked auth change that made GitHub forget how to GitHub. Web, API, Git, and Actions all threw tantrums while the deployment rollout happened in slow motion. Peak chaos: 10% of Actions runs just gave up and went home. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB May 28, 2026
🟠 Copilot Cloud Agent and Code Review got ghosted by OpenAI's models, forcing GitHub to frantically shuffle requests to backup brains. Nothing says 'AI-powered development' like your coding assistant having an existential crisis at 8 PM UTC. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB May 26, 2026
🔴 GitHub's Actions decided authentication is optional today—turns out it's not. Runs won't start, actions won't download, and the majority of workflows are now just spinning their wheels like developers on a Monday morning. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB May 15, 2026
🟠 GitHub Actions went full Sleeping Beauty for a bit, which naturally broke Coding Agent and Code Review Agent because nothing says 'microservices' like cascade failures. The lights are back on now but engineers are refreshing dashboards like they're checking lottery tickets. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB May 15, 2026
⚪ Some GitHub users got the 503 treatment after a surprise traffic tsunami hit on May 15th. Engineers found the culprit, kicked it out, and normal chaos resumed. The 'subset of customers' who got ghosted are now back online. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Apr 27, 2026
🟠 Elasticsearch ghosted GitHub's search function, leaving devs frantically scrolling through their own repos like it's 1999. Pull requests also caught the connectivity plague. Engineers claim they're 'investigating' which is corporate for 'our monitoring is broken too.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Apr 23, 2026
🟡 GitHub's AI coding assistant and webhook infrastructure are playing dead at the same time—because why fix one thing when you can break two? The incident report mysteriously evolved from 'degraded' to 'multiple unavailable services' faster than a junior dev abandoning their first startup. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Apr 01, 2026
🟠 GitHub's audit logs decided to play hide-and-seek after a routine credential rotation ate itself. Engineers redeployed and are now refreshing their coffee waiting for the service to remember what it does. Your security logs are out there somewhere, probably in a better place. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Mar 24, 2026
🔴 GITHUB - Teams Github Notifications App is down. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Mar 19, 2026
🔴 GITHUB - Disruption with Copilot Coding Agent sessions. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Mar 12, 2026
🟠 GitHub's Codespaces forgot how to download extensions, turning devs into archaeologists who excavate their IDE setup manually. Partial recovery means some extensions work, others have trust issues and refuse to load. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Mar 12, 2026
🟡 GitHub Actions workflows are getting rejected with 401 errors like a teenager trying to sneak past security. Authentication system decided it doesn't know its own users today. Investigators are scratching their heads in the war room. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Feb 12, 2026
🟡 GitHub is investigating performance issues affecting some services, with repository archive downloads now taking their sweet time when Git LFS objects are involved. Apparently even the world's largest code repository can have a bad morning. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Feb 12, 2026
🟠 Codespaces decided performance is optional. Started recovering, then remembered it could just... not. GitHub's still optimistically 'investigating' while your cloud IDE contemplates the void. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Feb 03, 2026
⚪ GitHub's CI/CD runners decided to take an unscheduled sabbatical, leaving queued jobs to timeout staring at an empty queue. The incident lasted nearly 6 hours across standard and larger runners. Your deployment dreams were deferred, but at least they're back now. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Jan 21, 2026
🟡 GitHub's AI code buddy hit the wall trying to live up to its own promise. Copilot Chat serving degraded performance—turns out even AI needs a timeout sometimes. The irony of a 'fast code' tool moving at molasses speed is *not* lost on anyone. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Jan 19, 2026
⚪ GitHub's Issues and Pull Requests decided to ghost both authenticated and unauthenticated users for 100 minutes straight. 10% of requests got the silent treatment at peak, which is apparently what happens when you give a service too much power over developer sanity. The good news: it's resolved now. The bad news: your code review is still pending from 2019. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)