> cat /var/log/failures.log
A comprehensive record of when things went wrong.
🟢 GITHUB
May 15, 2026
⚪ Some GitHub users got the 503 treatment after a surprise traffic tsunami hit on May 15th. Engineers found the culprit, kicked it out, and normal chaos resumed. The 'subset of customers' who got ghosted are now back online. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 DIGITALOCEAN
May 15, 2026
🔴 Anthropic's fancy serverless inference models (Sonnet 4.6, Opus 4.7) decided to stop inferencing and start ignoring requests. They've pinpointed the problem but the fix is still in the microwave. Your cutting-edge AI is currently just a very expensive paperweight. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 PLANETSCALE
May 14, 2026
⚪ Update: There is an incident in PlanetScale GCP us-central1 region impacting Postgres database availability. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 PLANETSCALE
May 14, 2026
🟡 PlanetScale's high availability component in us-central1 is having an identity crisis, repeatedly restarting and yeeting Postgres clusters into unplanned failovers. The irony of 'high availability' components causing unavailability is apparently lost on the universe. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 LINEAR
May 14, 2026
🟠 Linear's love affair with Slack hit a rough patch thanks to some upstream provider deciding to self-destruct. Asks, agents, and workflows are now moving at geological timescales across both US and EU. They're 'monitoring' which is corporate for 'frantically checking logs.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 LINEAR
May 14, 2026
🟠 Linear and Slack are having commitment issues—upstream provider pulled the plug, leaving your automation hanging. Both US and EU regions suffering from what engineers are politely calling 'degraded performance,' which is corporate speak for 'we're watching it fail in real time.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 BUNNY_CDN
May 14, 2026
🟠 Some genius's upstream provider decided to take an unscheduled sabbatical, leaving Singapore users staring at loading spinners. Bunny claims it's 'resolved' but is definitely refreshing the monitoring dashboard every 30 seconds. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI
May 13, 2026
🟡 OpenAI's login page ghosted everyone without an account. Turns out the gateway to artificial intelligence requires actual authentication—who knew? Investigating why their auth system picked today to become philosophical about identity. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 PLANETSCALE
May 13, 2026
🟡 PlanetScale's eu-west-2 region decided resizes, branches, and parameter changes are optional now. Engineers are investigating why their database won't obey basic commands. Turns out 'serverless' doesn't mean your ops become invisible too. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 SUPABASE
May 13, 2026
🟠 Supabase APIs are ghosting connections from Mullvad VPN users and possibly others, serving up timeouts and rejections like a bouncer at an exclusive club. Engineers are investigating whether this is a Mullvad-only problem or if other VPNs caught the same plague. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI
May 13, 2026
🟡 OpenAI's Realtime API lost the plot mid-conversation—SIP/WebRTC flows went silent while audio's having a performance crisis. Apparently 'real-time' is negotiable. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI
May 13, 2026
🟡 OpenAI's SIP flow decided to take an unscheduled sabbatical, leaving the audio subsystem gasping for breath. Turns out 'real-time' is more of a suggestion than a promise. Engineers are currently interviewing the affected bits to determine what went wrong. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 FIVETRAN
May 13, 2026
🟠 Fivetran's Apple App Store connector decided to play dead. The 'Reporter' service apparently took an unscheduled vacation without notifying anyone. Engineering is now in that special state between 'we found it' and 'we fixed it'—aka the schrödinger's bug window. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 SENDGRID
May 12, 2026
🟠 SendGrid's dashboard, subusers, and domain auth went on unauthorized vacation starting 16:20 PST. Emails still flowing, but managing your account? Good luck. Engineers claim they fixed it, now they're just sweating over the monitors. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 RENDER
May 12, 2026
⚪ Render's logs played peek-a-boo for 45 minutes—invisible in dashboards and ghosting third-party logging providers. The logs have since returned from their meditation retreat, fully resolved. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 MIXPANEL
May 12, 2026
🟡 Mixpanel's volume monitoring decided to move at geological timescales for some US projects. The irony of an analytics tool that can't analyze its own performance is *chef's kiss*. Engineers are currently staring at logs wondering where the speed went. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 SNYK
May 12, 2026
⚪ Snyk's recurring tests took an unscheduled sabbatical, then apparently found their way back to the office after some mitigation magic. The incident response team has stood down—presumably to recover from their own recurring nightmares. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GRAFANA
May 11, 2026
🟡 Grafana decided to play certificate roulette with a subset of customers—some connections work, others get the cryptographic cold shoulder. Engineering teams are cosplaying as detectives to figure out which certificates went rogue. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 CLERK
May 11, 2026
🟡 Clerk's Account Portal is having an existential crisis—root route returns 404 instead of redirecting, leaving some customers staring at the digital void. Apparently someone forgot to leave breadcrumbs. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 FLY
May 11, 2026
🟡 Your Redis is experiencing what we call 'selective amnesia'—it's still there, just not talking to anyone. Fly and Upstash are playing tech support ping-pong while your connections contemplate the void. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)