What Broke Today

🟢 SUPABASE Jul 06, 2026

🟠 Supabase decided to make the entire Americas region a vending machine that only dispenses errors. Started in us-east-1, then decided to go continental. Engineers are playing geographic roulette trying to figure out which region will spontaneously combust next. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

⚪ AWS Jul 06, 2026

⚪ 🎭 AWS's Launch Template API decided to take an unscheduled sabbatical between 2:56-6:54 AM PDT, turning template creation into a coin flip. Running instances shrugged and kept chugging, but anyone trying to spawn new resources got the silent treatment. Even services downstream realized their templates weren't coming home for dinner.

🟢 CONFLUENCE Jul 06, 2026

🟠 Atlassian's dynamic duo went silent, leaving automation tasks in the void. They're limping back to life now, but any requests that got submitted during the blackout are gone—like emails to your ex, unread and unacknowledged. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 JIRA Jul 06, 2026

🟠 Atlassian's dynamic duo went full Sleeping Beauty for a bit—automation was napping hard. Fix deployed, recovery underway, though anything submitted during the blackout is now digitally deceased. Full resurrection expected within the hour if the universe cooperates. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 GRAFANA Jul 03, 2026

⚪ Grafana's logging service in prod-eu-north-0 decided to play dead for 10 minutes, treating incoming data like unsolicited DMs. Your 5xx errors were just the service's way of ghosting you—problem solved, dignity optional. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 CONTENTFUL Jul 03, 2026

🟡 Contentful's Frankfurt gateway decided to play 'guess the latency' with customer requests this morning. After pretending to be a broken vending machine for a couple hours, it graciously returned to normal levels. Still keeping one eye open just in case it gets any more creative ideas. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 SEGMENT Jul 03, 2026

🔴 Segment's Criteo integration just discovered what happens when your ad targeting partner forgets to pay the electricity bill. Criteo's API decided to ghost everyone, which means your audience data is experiencing a sudden existential crisis. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 DATADOG Jul 03, 2026

🟡 Datadog's image registry decided to play hide-and-seek with container pulls. New deployments are getting ghosted, but your already-running containers are blissfully unaware of the chaos. Engineers are investigating why their own infrastructure won't cooperate with them. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 FLY Jul 03, 2026

🟡 Fly's Chicago data center decided to ghost its upstream provider, leaving machines catatonic and Postgres clusters playing dead. Deploys are experiencing the joy of quantum computing—simultaneously succeeding and failing until observed. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 1PASSWORD Jul 02, 2026

🟡 1Password's Device Trust feature decided to stop trusting devices (or anything). The team is investigating why their security backbone chose now to ghost everyone. Your passwords are fine, but your peace of mind is negotiable. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 CIRCLECI Jul 02, 2026

🟡 CircleCI is ghosting both your web experience and build pipelines simultaneously. Apparently 'continuous integration' now means 'continuous investigation.' Engineers are currently performing archaeological digs through logs to find where things went sideways. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 WEBFLOW Jul 02, 2026

⚪ Webflow's upstream provider decided to test everyone's patience between midnight and 4am UTC. Sites loaded like dial-up era nostalgia, SSL certificates took their sweet time provisioning. Drama's over, upstream provider finally did their job. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 MONGODB Jul 02, 2026

🟡 MongoDB decided backups are optional on AWS—cluster backups, restores, and exports all ghosted. Engineers are investigating whether they also broke the ability to resize instances because why stop at one disaster. 📉. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 GRAFANA Jul 02, 2026

🔴 Loki and Frontend Observability decided to go dark in prod-us-central-0. AWS Logs integration caught the same mystery illness. Engineers currently playing detective while your observability tools observe absolutely nothing. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

⚪ WEBFLOW Jul 02, 2026

🟡 Webflow's sites were moving like molasses and SSL certs were stuck in bureaucratic purgatory. Turns out the real villain was an upstream provider, not Webflow's code. Crisis averted, but your deployment window just evaporated.

🟢 ELASTIC Jul 02, 2026

🟡 Elastic's EIS decided the first fix was just a preview. Now investigating why the band-aid fell off. Engineers currently speed-running 'Remediation: The Sequel' with a subset of customers as reluctant beta testers. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 ELASTIC Jul 01, 2026

🟠 Elastic's inference engine decided EMEA doesn't exist. GCP and Azure customers in that region are experiencing what we in the industry call 'the silent treatment.' Investigation ongoing, which is corporate-speak for 'we're checking the logs and muttering.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 ELASTIC Jul 01, 2026

🟡 Elastic's internal monitoring decided to stream data at dial-up speeds across Azure regions. Your deployment metrics are basically playing hide-and-seek with the UI. They're still there, just *very* committed to the suspense. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 SUPABASE Jul 01, 2026

🟠 Supabase's 'Restore to New Project' beta decided to YOLO into the void. Turns out 'beta' is corporate speak for 'we haven't tested this part yet.' Feature going dark while engineers frantically Google 'how restore actually works.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 DIGITALOCEAN Jul 01, 2026

🟡 DigitalOcean's 'Downscale Anytime' feature decided 'anytime' means 'not this time.' Control Panel users are experiencing the dreaded UI ghost-mode while API users laugh from the sidelines. Engineering team is investigating why their own shrink button refuses to work. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

> cat /var/log/failures.log