> cat /var/log/failures.log
A comprehensive record of when things went wrong.
🟢 NEWRELIC
Mar 18, 2026
🔴 NEWRELIC - Endpoint Root Certificate Update - April 2nd at 00:00 UTC. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI
Mar 18, 2026
🔴 OPENAI - User Requests Timing Out / Content Not Loading. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 COCKROACHDB
Mar 18, 2026
🔴 COCKROACHDB - Cloud Console Social Login Auth Unavailable. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC
Mar 18, 2026
🔴 ANTHROPIC - Elevated errors on Claude.ai. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI
Mar 17, 2026
🔴 OPENAI - High Error rates with ChatGPT 5.4 Pro. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 SNYK
Mar 17, 2026
🔴 SNYK - PR Check Degradation. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 SNYK
Mar 17, 2026
🔴 SNYK - Snyk Go Scans Degraded. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
⚪ WEBFLOW
Mar 16, 2026
⚪ WEBFLOW - [RESOLVED] Reports of inconsistent publishing results for some sites
🟢 AMPLITUDE
Mar 16, 2026
🔴 AMPLITUDE - Experiment Evaluation Service Outage. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 SNYK
Mar 16, 2026
🔴 SNYK - Free Users Unable to Sign up for Snyk. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
⚪ WEBFLOW
Mar 13, 2026
⚪ Webflow's designer canvas and dashboard went full Dory for 52 minutes, leaving creators staring at blank screens. The amnesia cleared up around 20:20 UTC. Short enough that most people just refreshed instead of reading the status page.
⚪ WEBFLOW
Mar 13, 2026
⚪ The Webflow Canvas decided to take an unscheduled nap, leaving designers staring at blank screens. Engineers applied some digital smelling salts and it's back to pretending to work. Monitoring continues because apparently trust is dead.
🟢 PLAID
Mar 13, 2026
🟡 Plaid's bridge to Fidelity just ghosted harder than a bad Tinder date. Item adds and API requests are bouncing faster than rejected transactions while engineers pretend to know what's happening. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 SNYK
Mar 13, 2026
🟡 Snyk's reporting and analytics just ghosted the platform. Engineers are performing digital forensics to figure out where all your security metrics vanished to. Ironic: a security company can't find its own data. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 CONFLUENCE
Mar 13, 2026
⚪ Your static macros went full amnesiac for a few hours—they looked at your page and said 'who am I?'—but Atlassian's engineering team performed an exorcism and sent them back to work. Service is pretending nothing happened. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
⚪ HEROKU
Mar 12, 2026
⚪ Heroku's mystery feature outage has been declared dead on arrival and officially pronounced resolved. No word on what actually broke or why it took so long to remember basic functionality. Classic Heroku energy.
🟢 GITHUB
Mar 12, 2026
🟠 GitHub's Codespaces forgot how to download extensions, turning devs into archaeologists who excavate their IDE setup manually. Partial recovery means some extensions work, others have trust issues and refuse to load. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 BITBUCKET
Mar 12, 2026
🟡 Some Bitbucket users are experiencing degraded performance while engineers play detective. Atlassian is 'actively investigating' which is corporate speak for 'we're refreshing the status page every 30 seconds and stress-eating in the incident channel.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB
Mar 12, 2026
🟡 GitHub Actions workflows are getting rejected with 401 errors like a teenager trying to sneak past security. Authentication system decided it doesn't know its own users today. Investigators are scratching their heads in the war room. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 DISCORD
Mar 11, 2026
🟠 Some Discord servers decided to ghost their users faster than a bad Tinder date. Engineers claim they'll resurrect the missing ones 'shortly'—which in tech means anywhere from 5 minutes to 'we'll tell you when we figure this out.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)