> cat /var/log/failures.log

A comprehensive record of when things went wrong.

All the chaos openai (63) snyk (58) webflow (57) grafana (47) fly (38) fivetran (37) supabase (32) hashicorp (26) github (26) anthropic (26) aws (25) linear (20) jira (17) elastic (17) lovable (16)
🟢 FIVETRAN Apr 24, 2026
🟠 Azure threw a tantrum in East-US-2 and took Fivetran's sync timing with it. Microsoft's infrastructure decided nap time was more important than your data pipelines. They're working on it, which is corporate speak for 'fingers crossed.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 FIVETRAN Apr 24, 2026
🟠 Azure's East US region decided to take an unscheduled nap, leaving Fivetran syncs in the waiting room. Microsoft's infrastructure chose violence against data pipelines. Engineering team frantically checking if turning it off and on again counts as 'resolving it.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 FIVETRAN Apr 23, 2026
⚪ ServiceTitan's server decided to take an unscheduled nap, leaving Fivetran connectors gasping for HTTP 500 errors. The third-party meltdown lasted 39 minutes before ServiceTitan remembered how to stay online. Not Fivetran's fault, but their customers' data pipeline still got ghosted. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 SNYK Apr 23, 2026
⚪ GitHub integration ghosted Snyk users for 80 minutes while Snyk engineers played detective. Turns out the culprit was upstream—always blame the other guy. Crisis averted, engineers de-panicked. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GITHUB Apr 23, 2026
🟡 GitHub's AI coding assistant and webhook infrastructure are playing dead at the same time—because why fix one thing when you can break two? The incident report mysteriously evolved from 'degraded' to 'multiple unavailable services' faster than a junior dev abandoning their first startup. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GRAFANA Apr 23, 2026
🟡 Grafana's CloudWatch connector decided to play hide-and-seek with your metrics. Engineers are currently searching behind the couch. Spoiler: they're not finding much. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC Apr 23, 2026
🔴 MCP applications vanished from Claude.ai like they never existed—desktop, mobile, everything. Anthropic's engineers are currently playing archaeological dig through their own infrastructure. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI Apr 22, 2026
🟡 OpenAI is 'investigating' why free users can't have conversations without error pages. Turns out giving away AI for free means accepting the free tier experience: unreliable, apologetic, and occasionally just broken. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 FIVETRAN Apr 21, 2026
⚪ 🍎 Apple's App Store connector went radio silent, rejecting everything with a cryptic 'Reporter is currently unavailable' error. Fivetran engineers played tech support therapist for 2.5 hours until Apple remembered how to answer the phone. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 FIVETRAN Apr 21, 2026
🔴 Fivetran's Apple App Store connectors are playing dead with 'Reporter unavailable' errors. Engineers identified the problem at 04:30 UTC and deployed a fix, now doing that classic monitoring dance where they stare at dashboards hoping nothing explodes again. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 FIVETRAN Apr 21, 2026
🔴 Fivetran's Apple Store connectors decided reporters are overrated and ghosted everyone. Engineers found the problem, implemented a fix, and are now nervously refreshing metrics like they're stalking an ex on Instagram. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 COHERE Apr 20, 2026
🟡 Cohere's documentation site went full Houdini thanks to Fern having a moment. Users staring at blank pages while engineers play the blame game with their vendor. The docs aren't lost, they're just on an unscheduled sabbatical. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 LAUNCHDARKLY Apr 20, 2026
🟡 LaunchDarkly's documentation site went dark, proving that even the feature flag experts can't control their own infrastructure. Engineers are currently having an existential crisis in the incident channel. Ironic considering their entire business is about controlling what goes live. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 LINEAR Apr 20, 2026
🟡 Linear Agent and SLAs are running slower than a project manager reading requirements. US Region's having a moment where 'fast' became a theoretical concept. Engineering team frantically checking if someone accidentally set everything to milliseconds-per-geological-era. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI Apr 20, 2026
🟡 OpenAI is 'investigating' why ChatGPT, Codex, and the API platform decided to ghost half their features simultaneously. Login, uploads, search, image generation, GPTs, Atlas, voice mode—basically everything except the status page works fine. Turns out 'partial outage' is corporate for 'we're not sure what's still alive.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI Apr 20, 2026
🟡 ChatGPT and Codex decided to play Whack-a-Mole with their features—search down, conversations stuttering, image gen ghosted. OpenAI engineering team currently speed-running every troubleshooting guide on Stack Overflow. Half their product is 'investigating,' which is corporate speak for 'we have no idea which domino fell first.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GRAFANA Apr 20, 2026
🟡 Grafana's 429 errors are doing their best impression of a bouncer who read the door policy wrong. Metrics queries getting rejected faster than spam applications. Engineering team is caffeinating heavily across multiple regions. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 HASHICORP Apr 20, 2026
🟠 HCP Terraform is ghosting Azure resource management and external providers with intermittent connection resets. Engineers are 'investigating' which is corporate for 'checking if they turned it off and back on again'. Your deploys are in a relationship with timeouts right now. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 SNYK Apr 17, 2026
⚪ Snyk's Issues API decided to ghost developers for 11 minutes before remembering it had a job to do. The 'investigating' phase lasted long enough to brew one mediocre coffee. All systems allegedly back online, meaning someone probably just turned it off and back on. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 DIGITALOCEAN Apr 17, 2026
🟠 The entire .co TLD decided to play hide-and-seek with DNS resolvers worldwide. DigitalOcean's engineers are frantically applying band-aids to someone else's burning building while pretending they have it under control. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)