> cat /var/log/failures.log
A comprehensive record of when things went wrong.
🟢 OPENAI
Sep 29, 2026
🟡 OpenAI's support chat decided to embrace the silent treatment while Help Center limps along. If you need help, congratulations—you've discovered email, a technology from 1971. Modern problems, vintage solutions. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ELEVENLABS
Sep 29, 2026
🟡 ElevenLabs' Agents are experiencing the digital equivalent of a stroke mid-sentence, while STT is throwing 429s like a bouncer checking IDs. The START node apparently has commitment issues and won't stay in the conversation. Engineers are investigating why their AI decided to gaslight users about what 'START' actually means. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI
Sep 29, 2026
🟡 OpenAI's support chat decided to embrace the silent treatment while the Help Center desperately tries to pick up the slack. Turns out even an AI company can't keep its own humans connected—email support lives on though, if you enjoy the thrill of shouting into the void. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI
Sep 29, 2026
🟡 OpenAI's support chat and help center ghosted users harder than a bad Tinder date. The irony of an AI company's help system becoming unreachable is *chef's kiss*. Email support still works if you enjoy the 1995 internet experience. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 ANTHROPIC
Sep 29, 2026
🔴 Claude forgot who everyone is. SSO and Apple Sign-In are MIA, new chats won't start, voice is silent, and Claude Code/Cowork are taking an unscheduled vacation. First wave got patched at 14:36 UTC, second wave decided to ruin everyone's day. Pro tip: don't log out or you're locked out forever. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 BOX
Sep 29, 2026
🟡 Box decided to ghost everyone simultaneously for 5 minutes—files vanished, notes disappeared, API died, logins failed, downloads nope'd. Their automatic detection kicked in like a smoke detector after the house burned down. Crisis averted, mostly. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 PAYPAL
Sep 29, 2026
{
"skip": true
}
```
This is scheduled maintenance with advance notice. Per instructions, skip scheduled/planned maintenance. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 CONVEX
Sep 28, 2026
🟡 Convex's AI gateway decided to become an actual gatekeeper—turns out it wasn't just a metaphorical job. The service is currently ghosting requests like a bad date, leaving engineers to frantically check their send logs. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
⚪ WEBFLOW
Sep 28, 2026
⚪ Webflow's publishing speeds went full sloth mode for a hot minute, then engineers threw spaghetti at the wall and declared victory. Sites are live again, customer patience rewarded with a participation trophy.
⚪ WEBFLOW
Sep 28, 2026
🟡 Webflow customers discovered their sites publish at geological timescales. Engineers deployed a fix and claim victory, though 'monitoring closely' is tech speak for 'fingers crossed.' Apparently deployment speed and reliability are mutually exclusive concepts.
🟢 ELEVENLABS
Sep 28, 2026
🟡 ElevenAgents' EU residency feature is having an existential crisis—conversations are playing hide-and-seek with compliance. Engineers are currently performing digital archaeology to figure out which server actually owns this mess. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 SNYK
Sep 28, 2026
⚪ Snyk's CLI went full drama queen this morning—started refusing to scan anything, then got fixed and pretended nothing happened. Incident Response has been told to go home and stop refreshing Slack. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 LINEAR
Sep 27, 2026
🟡 Linear's European infrastructure decided to ghost its entire region. The app is fully down while engineers perform archaeological digs through the logs. Thoughts and prayers to anyone's sprint planning today. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 FLY
Sep 26, 2026
🔴 AMS region discovered what it's like to be unplugged from reality. Fly is playing phone tag with upstream providers, hoping someone remembers where they left the internet. Your containers are just vibing in the void right now. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 HASHICORP
Sep 26, 2026
🟡 HashiCorp's release CDN is serving up 504s instead of Terraform providers. Vault Radar also ghosted the party. Engineering team is currently at the 'staring at logs' phase of debugging. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 OPENAI
Sep 25, 2026
🔴 OpenAI's code generation suite got a complete system wipe—API, web, CLI, and VS Code extension all took the same exit. Engineers are frantically searching for the mitigation they swear they're 'working on implementing.' Your autocomplete is now just autocorrect to 'please hire better ops people.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 GOOGLE_WORKSPACE
Sep 25, 2026
⚪ Google Workspace Studio had a 53-minute existential crisis where it decided error rates were a personality trait. Engineers performed emergency therapy and managed to convince it that stability is cool again. Crisis averted, but barely. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 PYPI
Sep 25, 2026
{
"skip": true
}
```
This is scheduled maintenance, which per the instructions should be skipped. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 CURSOR
Sep 25, 2026
🟠 Cursor's Grok Bot is having an existential crisis—some instances went catatonic and new ones refuse to spawn. Engineers found the culprit and are rolling out a fix while computers contemplate their mortality. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 NEWRELIC
Sep 25, 2026
🟡 New Relic's EU monitoring UI decided to practice what it preaches by becoming invisible for 20 minutes. The irony of a monitoring tool that can't monitor itself is *chef's kiss*. Engineers are investigating why their crystal ball stopped working. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)