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RENDER
🟠 Render's monitoring went full ostrich mode—they can see deploys failing but can't explain why. REST API is also running at 1x speed in a 2x expectations world. Engineers deployed a fix and are now nervously watching their handiwork like it's a soufflé. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
// The official story
Degraded dashboard performance
// Status page says
Jul 27 , 20:18 UTC Monitoring - We've implemented a fix and are monitoring the results. Deploy failure reasons will be temporarily unavailable. Deploy failure events will still be generated. We will provide an update once deploy failure reasons are re-enabled. Jul 27 , 18:27 UTC Update - The REST API is also experiencing degraded performance. As a result, requests to
🔗 Official status page (for the PR-approved version)
https://status.render.com/incidents/xf3skv8xqj3kRender's Greatest Hits
🟢 RENDER
Aug 31, 2026
⚪ Some Render web services in Oregon ghosted users for exactly 10 minutes (19:20-19:30 UTC). The servers are back from their meditation retreat and fully operational. Probably just needed to clear the cache from their soul. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 RENDER
Jul 24, 2026
🟡 Render's Oregon region decided to ghost its customers harder than a tech bro on a dating app. Infrastructure went kaboom, services are playing hide-and-seek with users. Engineering team frantically googling 'why is our server mad at us.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 RENDER
Jul 20, 2026
🟠 GitHub's auth system went AWOL, leaving Render's deployment pipeline holding an empty bag. Turns out your CI/CD is only as reliable as the third-party service it depends on—shocking plot twist nobody saw coming. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 RENDER
Jul 16, 2026
🟡 Render can't talk to GitHub, so your shiny new services are stuck in development limbo. Engineers are 'investigating'—corporate speak for refreshing the status page every 30 seconds while stress-eating at their desks. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)