PLANETSCALE

🟠 PlanetScale's Query Insights metrics are ghosting users—reporting fewer queries than actually happened. Your databases are fine, but the telescope measuring them needs glasses. They're deploying fixes now, probably after coffee. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

⏰ Jul 24, 2026 Fixed (for now) spotted via status_rss

// The official story

Insights metrics underreporting

// Status page says

Status: Identified Insights metrics are underreporting for Postgres and Vitess databases. Database traffic and connectivity are unaffected. We are actively investigating the issue and are deploying mitigations. Affected components Query Insights (Partial outage)

🔗 Official status page (for the PR-approved version)

https://www.planetscalestatus.com//incidents/01KYA96E5XQ8Q1Z50HW2KQKAPR

Planetscale's Greatest Hits

🟢 PLANETSCALE 3d ago

🟡 One availability zone in us-east-1 decided to go dark, turning replicas into time travelers and connections into fiction. PlanetScale's status page is doing that thing where 'investigating' means engineers are stress-eating at their desks. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 PLANETSCALE Sep 05, 2026

🟡 PlanetScale's Vitess clusters in GCP decided simultaneous ghosting was on brand—Iowa, Montreal, Seoul, and Virginia all taking connectivity timeouts. Investigators report the databases are present but spiritually absent. Schrödinger's data: simultaneously connected and not connected. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 PLANETSCALE Jul 18, 2026

🟡 PlanetScale's Northern Virginia servers discovered they don't actually need to accept connections. Engineering team now interrogating the infrastructure about its sudden commitment issues. Remediation in progress, which is consultant-speak for 'we're Googling this.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 PLANETSCALE Jul 17, 2026

🔴 PlanetScale's dashboard and API discovered that memory is finite. Turns out a specific request pattern was basically a denial-of-service attack on their own infrastructure. Engineering team now teaching their servers what 'moderation' means. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)