🔴 OpenAI's government-grade API decided to practice selective amnesia. Astra and Sol are throwing errors like a frustrated intern at a code review. Engineering team is frantically googling 'how to make APIs remember what they're supposed to do.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟠 OpenAI's enterprise dots decided to move at glacial pace. The good news? Your API calls are still working. The bad news? They're taking the scenic route through 1995. Teams are implementing fixes while enterprise customers contemplate switching to carrier pigeons. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟠 OpenAI identified that basically everything involving moving data around decided to move slower. Files, images, responses, generation—all running at what engineers are charitably calling 'contemplative speeds' while they scramble for a fix. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟡 OpenAI's iOS and Android apps decided authentication is optional. Login, signup, and assorted features are having an existential crisis while engineers frantically Google "why does my code hate me." They're investigating, which is consultant-speak for "we have no idea yet.". (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟡 OpenAI's investigating why some workspace admins can't manage plugins—turns out giving people control over their workspace was just a beta feature. Connectors/Apps decided to ghost the people actually trying to run things here. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)