ELASTIC

🟡 Elastic's cloud infrastructure decided to follow Microsoft's lead into the dumpster. Users getting intermittent errors because apparently 'serverless' means relying on someone else's servers catching fire. Team is monitoring the situation, which is corporate speak for 'refreshing the status page nervously'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

⏰ May 29, 2026 Fixed (for now) spotted via status_rss

// The official story

Upstream Azure Outage Causing Service Degradation

// Status page says

May 29 , 06:32 UTC Investigating - We are currently investigating an issue caused by a Microsoft Azure service disruption that is impacting some of our services. Users may experience intermittent errors, delays, or inability to access certain features depending on the affected Azure service and region. Our team is actively monitoring the situation and assessing the impact on our environment. At this time, the issue appears

🔗 Official status page (for the PR-approved version)

https://status.elastic.co/incidents/8htnrfnbyph2

Elastic's Greatest Hits

🟢 ELASTIC 5d ago

🟡 Elastic's GCP us-central1 region decided projects should come with a 'read receipts disabled' feature. Some Serverless deployments are either moving at geological timescales or vanishing entirely. The status page says 'investigating' which is tech speak for 'we're refreshing our monitors and hoping it fixes itself.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 ELASTIC Sep 17, 2026

🟡 Elastic's AutoOps can't find its node metrics (CPU, memory, disk) in certain regions—they're just gone from recent time ranges. The good news: your data's fine, cluster health is fine, everything else is fine. It's just the one thing you need to see that's MIA. ETA on the scavenger hunt: 2 hours. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 ELASTIC Sep 16, 2026

🟡 Elastic's own support portal decided to become unsupported. The company that helps you monitor everything apparently turned off monitoring for, well, everything. They're 'investigating' with their provider—translation: playing hot potato with blame while customers scream into the void. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

⚪ ELASTIC Aug 27, 2026

⚪ Someone deployed a DNS config change that yeet'd .apm endpoints into the void. Serverless customers got the silent treatment for ~9 hours until engineers remembered these endpoints existed. Elastic's internal DNS provider apparently needed a nap.