ELASTIC

🟠 Elastic's Docker registry and orchestration went fishing in us-central1, but they're back from vacation. Monitoring's still twitchy though, like a recovering addict at a coffee convention. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

⏰ Mar 09, 2026 Fixed (for now) spotted via status_rss

// The official story

GCP us-central1 hosting problems

// Status page says

Mar 9 , 13:16 UTC Monitoring - We have seen an improvement regarding this service disruption. The docker registry is available, and project orchestration has been restored. We will continue to monitor the situation, and ensure a full service recovery. Mar 9 , 12:05 UTC Identified - The issue has been identified, and we are working with our hosting providers to reach a so

🔗 Official status page (for the PR-approved version)

https://status.elastic.co/incidents/0dh42yyc0mng

Elastic's Greatest Hits

🟢 ELASTIC 5d ago

🟡 Elastic's GCP us-central1 region decided projects should come with a 'read receipts disabled' feature. Some Serverless deployments are either moving at geological timescales or vanishing entirely. The status page says 'investigating' which is tech speak for 'we're refreshing our monitors and hoping it fixes itself.'. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 ELASTIC Sep 17, 2026

🟡 Elastic's AutoOps can't find its node metrics (CPU, memory, disk) in certain regions—they're just gone from recent time ranges. The good news: your data's fine, cluster health is fine, everything else is fine. It's just the one thing you need to see that's MIA. ETA on the scavenger hunt: 2 hours. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟢 ELASTIC Sep 16, 2026

🟡 Elastic's own support portal decided to become unsupported. The company that helps you monitor everything apparently turned off monitoring for, well, everything. They're 'investigating' with their provider—translation: playing hot potato with blame while customers scream into the void. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

⚪ ELASTIC Aug 27, 2026

⚪ Someone deployed a DNS config change that yeet'd .apm endpoints into the void. Serverless customers got the silent treatment for ~9 hours until engineers remembered these endpoints existed. Elastic's internal DNS provider apparently needed a nap.