🟡 Tailscale's Funnel feature decided connectivity was overrated. Some users can't get in, others can't get out—basically a networking speed dating app that ghosted everyone. Engineering team is playing tech detective with flashlights. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟡 Tailscale's coordination service is having an identity crisis—admin console and core coordination are both partially down. Engineers are pretending to understand the problem while the service contemplates why it even exists. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟡 Tailscale's Aperture decided to become a theoretical physics concept rather than functional software. Self-serve users are now staring at an absence of their VPN gateway, which is fine, totally fine, definitely not a problem on a Friday afternoon. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)