🔴 AMS region discovered what it's like to be unplugged from reality. Fly is playing phone tag with upstream providers, hoping someone remembers where they left the internet. Your containers are just vibing in the void right now. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟠 Fly's Amsterdam region decided to take an unscheduled nap. Management plane and AMS hosts are stumbling back online while engineers frantically assess the damage. MPG impact assessment in progress—translation: they're still counting the bodies. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟠 Fly's Sprites feature went from 'just San Jose' to 'everywhere' faster than a contagion. API calls getting the silent treatment while engineers pretend their mitigations are actually doing something. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟡 Fly's having an identity crisis in San Jose—their API keeps ghosting users like a bad Tinder date. Intermittent failures plaguing the region while engineers frantically check if they accidentally unplugged something important. Spoiler: they did. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)

🟡 Fly's Sprites API is playing favorites with a partial outage. Some users getting the full visual experience, others staring at loading spinners. Engineers currently playing 'guess the bug' in production. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)