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DISCORD
⚪ Discord's API and homepage decided to play dead for 8 minutes while an upstream provider had what we'll charitably call 'a moment.' The fix has been deployed and Discord is back to doing whatever Discord does—probably hosting another cryptocurrency scam or something. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
// The official story
API and Homepage Availability Issues
// Status page says
Dec 5 , 01:22 PST Resolved - This incident has been resolved. Dec 5 , 01:19 PST Monitoring - The upstream provider has implemented a fix and are monitoring the results. Dec 5 , 01:14 PST Investigating - An upstream provider is investigating a major issue, and we are currently investigating the impact to Dis
🔗 Official status page (for the PR-approved version)
https://discordstatus.com/incidents/rpjs6gtf6qwyDiscord's Greatest Hits
🟢 DISCORD
Sep 16, 2026
🟠 Discord's Android payment system ghosted harder than your ex—Google Play decided to go dark, leaving users unable to throw money at their screen. iOS and web users are fine because of course they are. Existing subscriptions are still breathing, barely. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 DISCORD
Sep 11, 2026
🟡 Discord's media proxy is cosplaying as a dial-up modem from 2003. Images are downloading at speeds that make loading a single meme feel like a life commitment. Engineers are investigating why their CDN decided to go full tortoise mode. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 DISCORD
Aug 31, 2026
🟠 Discord decided certain servers needed to file missing persons reports. Voice calls and activities also ghosted some users. Engineers are now playing archaeological dig to find what they buried. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)
🟢 DISCORD
Aug 31, 2026
🟠 Discord's having a Schrödinger's server moment—your guild exists AND doesn't exist depending on who you ask. Voice comms and activities also ghosted the group chat. Engineers are frantically checking if they accidentally unplugged the wrong cable. (Auto-resolved: no updates in 24h)